I've had alot to do and alot going on over the past few months. It seems that i have experienced every emotion in the human condition over such a short time. I am ok with myself, this isnt some "poor me" rant, more like opinions about how we, as people, act towards each other.
Over the past couple of months, i have been cheated on multiple times, lied to, and betrayed. I lost my job, ive been taken complete advantage of, and right now i am barely keeping my head above water. I have seen people i consider my family going through the same things at the same time. Most of the people i know, were acting out in anger, hate, and aggression. I have a friend that is facing felony charges for beating up and guy that slept with his girlfriend, i have another friend that is drowning himself with drugs and booze because of stress, and another friend that is doing everything that he can to still try to control and manipulate situations to try to still get what he wants out of a girl that dumped him months ago.
Me, well i had a bad couple of days when things fell apart, but i picked myself up, looked at my errors in things, and started moving on. Ive also tried to look at the things that people have done to me, and through a kind heart, wished them the best, and hoped that they wouldn't have to do those things to another person. I forgave them of their actions, and in a couple of cases, even considered pursuing a friendship with one of these people.
My older brother, my sister, and several friends, have recently asked me how i can be so forgiving to people, how i can be so kind to people even though they have spat in my face. Where my hope and love for humanity comes from. To be honest, I don't know. Its the way i have always been. I have always thought that people are not evil, people are just imperfect. People make mistakes. Regardless of crimes or acts committed, i believe all people have good inside of them. Please, don't get me wrong, if a person commits a heinous act, they should have a fitting punishment. But i always think to myself, when i have been wronged, where that person came from, what events could have happened in their life that could have effected how they act towards others. Something in their mind has been able to justify lying when faced with an honest truth, something at one point removed a small part of their reasoning and rational thought to make how they treat people OK. When most people are wronged, i have seen at least, they will act out in anger, or complete detachment. But for me, i get fascinated, i wonder why, i wanna pick apart every action that person has done towards me and try to understand their logic in doing what they do. When i get the answers that make sense to me, i form a conclusion, and decide if having that person in my life is healthy for me, and for them, or if i would be better off separating completely, and hope that they might get better learning what life lessons they need to learn. But before i can do that, i forgive that person, completely. I do my best to acknowledge my deeds, and experience the emotions that come with acts such as this. Through the last couple of months, i have been angry, sad, lonely, depressed, heartbroken, and in despair. BUT i have also been happy, i have smiled, i have laughed, i have felt the love of my friends and family. The good times have been way more frequent that the bad. And when i realize i am having a bad moment, or a sad time, i remember that this is only a moment in the rest of my life, it doesn't need to fill my day, or week or month, its a moment, fleeting, and temporary. People that do wrong to another person, with the exception of extreme cases and crimes, are just like those feelings, they are temporary, they are fleeting. They will pass in and out of your life time and time again, but love, happiness, compassion and forgiveness, those last alot longer, and are more beneficial than letting a person who has wronged you live rent free in your thoughts, keeping you in a pit of anger and sadness. Giving a person like that only weakens you and distracts you from what is important, yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment